[USMCRET6391]

1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you
sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever
is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to quit
whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me
until you are well again. I don't want whatever you
have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your
clumsy ass.

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you
may ask? Because you are my friend.

Remember:
A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.