[USMCRET6391]

The Joys of Having Boys

The following came from an anonymous Mother in
Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my boys
(honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies
and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a
bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke --
lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old man says they can
only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor
is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a
5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.

22) The spin cycle on the washing machine will,
however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of
their friends, with or without kids.

a) For those with no children - this is totally
hysterical
b) For those who already have children past this
age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is
not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age,
this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this
is birth control