Bullying

[Jan-R]

I hear stories sometimes of weaker members in the military getting victimised - my boyfriend in the army as told me that it happens quite a bit. He can stand up for himself OK, but some can't. Some people can find themselves out of their depth!
I was wondering to what extent this happened, and what sort of things can be dne about it. You can expect rough treatment - that's part of the life - but sometimes it can go beyond that.

[SGRock]

It does happen. They have to stand up for themselves. If they are a good person an NCO sometimes brings him under his wing and helps him out. Teaches him to be more confident, gets him in the weight room, etc.

If he's a dirtbag, too bad. nobody will want him around and they will pick on him.

[Jan-R]

Yeah, I think the general idea is to let people know from the start that you wont be picked on! I guess if you're a more sensitive type, you wouldn't be there in the first place!

[SGRock]

Not always true. Some people join the Military to change themselves. In the case of the Marine Corps, that is a warrior atmosphere. No matter your MOS you are a warrior. The ones that do not measure up or are NOT warriors get picked on. Its kinda sorta like high school but in a different way. In high school everyone wanted to fit in, yeah? Same way in the Corps. If you don't TRY to fit in, that is when the problems start.

[Jan-R]

You definitely develop resillience. Some people thought that my boyf wouldn't handle the life, but he has proved them all wrong.

[USMC Chuter]

Sounds like your boyfriend is doing just fine. The military, particularly the Marine Corps and any combat specialty field in any service, is notorious for being...Shall we say, unforgiving of weakness. It's a high testosterone envirnonment and for good reason. If you look/act like food, you will be eaten by the carnivores among us, so to speak. It's not as awful as it's made out to be, as the peer pressure is intended to toughen up the slackers. Unlike in days past, leaders aren't AS likely to allow the bullying to go "too far." Having said that, the bullied are better off conforming (while sticking up for themselves as necessary) to the standards of the unit than to be seen as "protected" by the leadership.

[armyinfmom63]

I want to add to this, but in a different way. My son in basics' suffered a "stress fracture" in his foot, and was out of the runs ect. for the last few weeks of basics. When he could resume running, his foot was still weak, but he was running, but not as fast as they was supposed to. He did get a lot of grief over that. But he did push on. He was still struggling with it when he got deployed. In fact, one of our last conversations before he left, he told me on the phone, that he was so worried that he would not be able to protect his fellow soldiers, that he was almost in tears. But he was still perservering and training and he has done just fine. His fears was for nothing.

Sometimes, and I have found this out with my personal trainer, it is not bullying, although at times you might take it like that, but just to get you in the frame of mind to push harder. (And you always can, to a degree. We all hit a place where we want to give up, but we can get past that, we just have to push beyond that.)

And USMC is right, no branch wants to see weakness. That will really bring them down on you. But I am sure he is fine and will come out being a great soldier and man from all of what he has to endure.

[RR691983]

I was gonna comment but it seems ya'll got it under control

[armyinfmom63]

But your comments would still be appreciated!!

[Vulture6]

no branch wants to see weakness

That's true, but injury to the point of not being able to do your job properly isn't weakness. Sometimes, and injury can slow you down, but not enough to keep you from completing training. Sometimes you have to suck it up and drive on. Sometimes, you have to step up and go see the doc. There is a difference between using an injury to get out of doing your duty and endangering those around you because you're too hurt to do your job effectively.

If it is bad, urge your son to go to sick bay again and get it checked out.

If he's injured, he needs to get it looked after, and there is no shame in that.

[armyinfmom63]

That is true, there is no shame if there is a real injury. And my son did try to keep up, ( he thought is was just his foot cramping) until they told him to report to the Army docs. He did do an extra 3 weeks of training to make up for time lost. Forgot to add that.