Not tonight dear.

[SSGMike.Ivy]

This is not a joke so here I posted this, and it is well at times very true

Source of the following is unkown to me. I found it on another board and that poster doesn't know where its from.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of
the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[AmericanGirl]

lmao! point taken

[Ram0528]

That is funny as hell

[Navy6064]

I read that on the net before but it is nice to read it again.

Thanks

[1LTJAY]

Lmao

[Batgirl]

[Turtledrive]

Need to print that off for later use

[Rusty24]

For now on please put a disclaimer with really good jokes like this one, It's hard to clean coffee out of the key board after it shoots out of your nose! Plus trying to explain to my daughter why I'm gagging on coffee is no easy task either.

Good Joke!

[rabbid37]

good idea rusty

[CoastieDrummer]

haha, thats pretty good

[MACTANK]

That was funny.

LOL
good on the guy!
So many women take guys for a ride..I thought that was excellent!