9 Types of Girlfriends

**Navy6064** · 03-22-2005, 08:06 PM

9 Types of Girlfriends

Ms. Nice Guy
"Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"

Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday

Old Yeller
"You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??"

Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans

Sickly
"Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"

Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious

The Bosser
"Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."

Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied
"I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"

Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

Wild Woman out of Control
"I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."

Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable, drives off cliffs

Huffy
"I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"

Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends

Woman from Mars
"I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"

Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

Ms. Dreamgirl
"I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now"

Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you

**Brad** · 03-22-2005, 08:13 PM

Man, I've dated girls that were all of these in one - depending on the day!

Ram0528 · 03-22-2005, 09:29 PM

i think i've dated most, if not all of them. Have to agree w/ Brad...depending on the days

RFleischman · 03-22-2005, 10:58 PM

so true!

Hoss68 · 03-23-2005, 07:01 AM

Wow, I must be really backwards here. I fit in to none of those categories! Closest is the first and last combined! Does that mean I'll wise up before I have anything to do with the guy?!?!

And no there is NO depending on the day with this chick. PMS is pre-marital sex in my world.