Celebrity Viruses

[Navy6064]

CELEBRITY VIRUSES

BOBBIT VIRUS
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

BOBBIT VIRUS - Strain 2
Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.

SPICE GIRL VIRUS
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

TIM ALLEN VIRUS
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

SONY BONO VIRUS
Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of no where.

MARTHA STEWART VIRUS
Takes all your files, sorts them by catagory and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

DONALD TRUMP VIRUS
Harmless unless you use online banking.

DOLLY PARDON VIRUS
It sounds pretty good, but you'd swear your monitor looks larger, and has more knobs than it used to. DEFLATE.COM removes it.

JIMMY SWAGGART VIRUS
When caught, it begs for your forgiveness and to be released.

GERALDO RIVERA VIRUS
Digs dirt out of your files, but it airs the dirt for all to see. Temporarily disabled with CHAIR.EXE. Similar to Kitty Kelley virus, but more generally annoying.

ROBERT ALTON HARRIS VIRUS
Kills two of your best files, but it takes 14 years for undeletion to rid the viral presence.

OJ SIMPSON VIRUS
You know it killed your system, but you just can't prove it.

OJ SIMPSON VIRUS - Strain 2
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to never stop looking for the virus that did it.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS
Leaves its mark on your XXX .GIF files. Quits after one byte.

L.A.P.D. VIRUS
This is a reincarnation of the Ted Kennedy Virus, but comes with videotape coverage of the crash and the ensuing insanity.

L.A.P.D. VIRUS - Strain 2
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".

RODNEY KING VIRUS
Just sits there, but when it is detected you'd swear the virus scanner was demolishing your entire system.

JOEY BUTTAFUACO VIRUS
Only attacks minor files.

TONYA HARDING VIRUS
turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

RICHARD SIMMONS VIRUS
Deletes FAT table.

ELLEN DeGENERES VIRUS
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

GEORGE MICHAELS VIRUS
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.

MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS
It's BAD. Computer freaks out when you put flame or Pepsi next to it. Some people think it's identical to the Latoya Jackson

virus because they have both never been seen together.

MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS - Strain 2
Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but trashs your car.

ROSANNE BARR VIRUS
Plays the National Anthem at boot-up. Even worse with a sound card.

JANE FONDA VIRUS
Runs your hard drive for a 60 minute workout.

LEONA HELMSLEY VIRUS
Deletes files smaller than it is.

TAMMY FAYE BAKKER VIRUS
Plays "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!"

SHARON STONE VIRUS
Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

WOODY ALLEN VIRUS
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Harmless to adult female users, but attacks files under eighteen years old. Not as sinister as the Roman Polanski virus.

HOWARD STERN VIRUS
One of the dirtiest viruses around. It writes 4 letter words to all of your files just to annoy the operating system. It also installs an X-rated GIF on your hard drive. Very popular.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
Probably the most dangerous virus we've ever seen. It occupies 50Mb, complains about all the other files, then eats them. It's so stupid you don't take it seriously until it's too late.

IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS
Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.

IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS - Strain 2
After depleting your bank account, returns to infect you again! Little footprints appear all over your screen, blocking out information. Unlimited shoe styles.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
Your 12 GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 2 GB, then slowly expands back to 12 GB.

TERRY RANDLE VIRUS
Prints "Oh no you don't!" whenever you choose "abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message (also known as ARF.)

JEFFREY DAHMER VIRUS
Eats away at your systems resources piece by piece.

WARREN BEATTY VIRUS
Constantly tries to prove its virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.

ELVIS VIRUS
Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self-destructs,

only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER VIRUS
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

TED TURNER VIRUS
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
Nobody can find it.

THE MAFIA VIRUS
You don't want it, but you're afraid to get rid of it.

DAVID DUKE VIRUS
Does not allow access to colorized files.

KOVORKIAN VIRUS
Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to; as an act of mercy.

ADAM-AND-EVE VIRUS
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

KITTY KELLEY VIRUS
A particularly nasty infection. It locates your personal files, activates your modem and spreads the dirt around to all the BBSs you usually call. Embarrassing.

ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS
Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars, it's programmer will take it back.

FREUDIAN VIRUS
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

SADDAM HUSSEIN VIRUS
Hides in the deepest part of your hard drive and hopes the virus killer doesn't find it

POPE JOHN PAUL VIRUS
Deletes all your dirty files and blesses the rest

STEVE FORBES VIRUS
All files reported as the same size.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD VIRUS
Gets no respect. Only allows data do be displayed as one-liners.

JOHNNY CARSON VIRUS
Similar to the JOKEMASTER virus, but only works a couple nights a week, then retires. Very popular.

JOKEMASTER VIRUS
Totally harmless, but tends to display humorous messages on the screen in the middle of the night. Do not take seriously.

MILITARY VIRUSES

GENERAL SCHWARTZKOFF VIRUS
Plays "Stars and Stripes Forever" while showing a GIF of Fozzie Bear. A real 'take charge' virus.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
Turns your printer into a document shredder.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS - Strain 2
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files

ALEXANDER HAIG VIRUS
Rewrites COMMAND.COM so it's in charge.

TAILHOOK VIRUS
Plasters "GO NAVY!" on your XXX .GIF files.

SMART BOMB VIRUS
Effectively targets any files which display intelligence.

PATRIOT MISSILE VIRUS
Destroys your system's SCSI bus.

PRODUCT VIRUSES

PROZAC VIRUS
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

AT&T VIRUS
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.

MCI VIRUS
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

SPRINT VIRUS
Charges you $.10/minute to surf the WEB. Every three minutes, you can hear a pin drop out of your machine.

SEARS VIRUS
Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.

THE CALCULATOR VIRUS
Calculates the precise size of your hard drive, then fills it with exactly that amount of blank spaces.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

HARE KRISHNA VIRUS
Unknown effects, but it's REALLY annoying.

PRODIGY VIRUS
It promises your system it will run so much better; for a slight variable connection charge, plus a minor minute-by-minute usage fee, and the right to censor your files, and... NIKE VIRUS
Just Does It!

[Hoss68]

BOBBIT VIRUS - Strain 2
Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.

Nothing "unforunate" about that! LMAO!


Great post!

[Ram0528]

I thought teh sonny bono & ellen viruses were the funniest

[Hoss68]

Originally Posted by Ram0528

I thought teh sonny bono & ellen viruses were the funniest

The Ellen one was great! I have a neighbor whose claiming the opposite. Always been with women, gets pregnant by the first and only man she ever slept with and now claims she's straight! LMFAO! That was more than 2 years ago!

[Ram0528]

see, men can turn a woman straight

[rabbid37]

thats good to know

[brooklyn6]

lol

[Hoss68]

Originally Posted by Ram0528

see, men can turn a woman straight

Not that man! LMFAO!

[RFleischman]

Lol!