You might be a redneck if:

[Navy6064]

You might be a redneck if:

Two of your weddings made "America's Funniest Home Videos."

You've ever watched a tornado from a lawn chair.

You met your wife at a yard sale.

You've ever driven for over a month on a baby spare tire.

Your favorite cologne is Deep Woods Off.

You stockpile pork and beans.

Your nicest towels say Motel 6.

You use a bedsheet as a sofa cover.

Your screen door has no screen.

Your wife left you for last year's winer of the hog-calling contest.

You grow your own chewing tobacco.

The collar on your dog cost more than what you are wearing.

You're not actually able to read The Richard Petty Story, but you sure do like to look at the pictures.

Your wife's laundry basket used to be a grocery cart.

Your trash collector isn't sure about what stays and what goes.

You're saving up to "gravel" your driveway.

Your favorite restaurant has a sawdust floor.

You've ever had to have a wrecker pull your car out of a pothole in your driveway.

Your children's night-light is a neon beer sign.

You fly fish with real flies.

You think fax is the opposite of fiction.

You use an ironing board as a knick-knack shelf.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 m.p.h.

Nobody can rebuild an engine like your mama.

Grass is growing in the floorboards of your car.

Your car's horn plays "Sweet Home Alabama."

Your family car has flames painted down both sides.

You need pliers to change channels on your TV.

You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time

Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people"

You've been too drunk to fish

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle

You've ever used a weedeater indoors

You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income

You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run)

Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge

Your dog and your wallet are both on chains

You've ever financed a tattoo

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"

Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack

Your Junior/Senior prom had a day-care

You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass

Someone asks to see your ID and you show him your belt buckle

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head

You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car

Your biggest ambition in life is to "git thet big 'ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back 'ah Bubba's barn...

You have a picture of Johnny Cash, WIllie Nelson or Elvis over your fireplace

Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them

You've been to a funeral and there were more pickups than cars

You have five cars that aren't mobile and a house that is

You own more cowboy boots than sneakers

Your "huntin dawg" cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You belt buckle weighs more than three pounds

You have an Elvis jello mold.

Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Redman sends you a Christmas Card

You need one more hole punched in yuour card to get a freebie at the House of Tatoos

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does

You call your boss "Buddy" on a regular basis

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade

Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator

You know at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball cap

Youi mow your lawn and find a car

You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food

You roll your hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

You have to go down to the creek to take a bath

[Navy6064]

The primary color of your car is "Bond-O"

Your 23 channel CB radio is used to communicate with your family.

Your favorite kind of wine is strawberry.

You can pick objects up off the floor with your toes.

The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.

You carry Ziplock bags in your purse for leftovers.

You think the play The King and I is about Elvis.

You have a four-door car, but only one door will open and close.

You've ever fixed your alse teeth with a glue gun.

Anyone in your family has taken a UFO ride lately.

You've hot-wired a riding lawn mower.

Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep-end."

There's ammunition in your Christmas stocking.

You always start a story with the words, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this..."

Your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.

More than one living relative is named after a southern Civil War

General

Your front porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs

Your home has more miles on it than your car

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your home

You consider a six-pack and bug-zapper high quality entertainment.

Your mother doesn't remove the cigarette from her lips before

telling the State Trooper to kiss her arse

You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by

Your family tree doesn't fork

Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan

Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event

You've ever barbecued Spam on a grill

The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights

Your brother-in-law is your uncle

You've ever parked a Camaare in a tree

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair

You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey

Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into a sporting event

Getting a package from the post office requires a full tank of gas

You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub

Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock

You've ever hit a deer with your car....on purpose

You dated your daddy's current wife in high school

You've spent more on your pickup truck than on your education

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item

The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection

Your momma would rather go to the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup

You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior

You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading

You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups

You prominently difplay a gift you bought at Graceland

Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet

You use the term "over yonder" more than once a month

Your mother keeps a chaw (spit) cup on the ironing board

The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute"

Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town

There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard

You've been on TV more than five times describing the sound of a tornado

It is easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than to mow it

You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue and Primer Gray are the three primary colors

The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men

You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor

[Turtledrive]

lol