male/female political correctness

Subject: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS....


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America;

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


And furthermore.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

[USMCRET6391]

[Navy6064]

..

[Batgirl]

Good one Mike!

[Grimmy]

LOL!! I think I've actually heard some of those used in conversations.

[AngelBear]

[Hasbeen]

thats some good stuff.