The Joys of PMS

[Navy6064]

The Joys of PMS


10 Ways To Know If You Have Estrogen Issues
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your ese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."


6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You think any liquid looks better poured over someone's head.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide as a discussion tool or simply print it out and keep it for your wallet...

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, I've got lots of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.


Top 13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass my shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid Section
5. People Make Me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon my Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly - Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

Expressions For Women On High Stress Days (aka PMS!!!!!)


You - off my planet
Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic + disorder -- my work here is done.
Earth is full. Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

[AngelBear]

I think this all applies...

[SGRock]

I'm wondering if I should show these to my wife or not.

[Spitfire101]

Originally Posted by SGRock

I'm wondering if I should show these to my wife or not.

Lol - you sound a little scared...If I were you, I would. She's most likely just like the rest of us females.

[USMCRET6391]

[brooklyn6]

lol