>Subject: Old Age

[Navy6064]

>Subject: Old Age
>
>
>
>Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very
>elderly
>widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she
replied. "Two years
>older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded,
>"Hardly worth going home, is it?
>
>_________________________________
>
>Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do
you think is the
>best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She
simply replied, "No
>peer pressure."
>
>_______________________________
>
>The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own
Easter eggs.
>
>_________________________________________________ _________
>
>I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
replacement, new
>knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind,
can't hear
>anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different
medications that make
>me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts
with dementia. Have
>poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if
>I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I
still have my
>driver's license.
>
>________________________________
>
>I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's
>permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take
>an
>aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down,
>and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
leotards on, the class
>was over.
>
>_______________________________
>
>An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
preacher she had
>two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and
second, she
>wanted
>her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the
preacher exclaimed. "Why
>Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice
a week."
>
>_________________________________________________ ___________
>
>My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my
memory's not as sharp
>as
>it used to be.
>
>________________________________
>
>Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles
fill out.
>
>_______________________________
>
>It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
coffeemaker.
>
>______________________________
>
>These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,
"For fast
>relief."
>
>______________________________
>
>Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old
>because
>you stop laughing.
>
>________________________________
>
>--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget
the people I
>never
>liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight
>to tell the difference.
>
>_________________________________________________ _____________
>
>Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6,
maybe 10 others. Oh
>heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can
remember who they are!
>
>
>May you always have fair winds and following seas.
>
>

[SpongeJuan]

Ahhhhhhhhhh I don't wanna get old!

[Donald]

lol