REAL Officers .

[Navy6064]

REAL Officers . . .

• Can cuss for a full ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
• Got their commissions the old-fashioned way - at OCS.
• Can remember when they were real NCOs.
• Will fight with bayonets and E-tools just to save ammo.
• Wear Corcoran jump boots in garrison just in case they have to kick the shit out of some loudmouthed staffer.
• Have eyes in the backs of their heads.
• Can see in the dark.
• Would rather be a squad leader than a general.
• Have wet dreams about leading a parachute assault on Baghdad.
• Still don't trust the Russians.
• Still hate the French.
• Will take vacation time just to make a pilgrimage to Ft. Benning to see Iron Mike.
• Know who Iron Mike is.
• Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
• Don't know how to be politically correct
• Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy" in the UCMJ.
• Love deploying to combat because there's less paperwork.
• Know that "Cav" is an abnormal condition that can be cured with testosterone shots.
• Can remember the "daily dozen".
• Can remember running PT in boots.
• Have enough "fruit salad" on their greens to be Mexican field marshals.
• Have enough time in service to retire as captains.
• Think it's cool to teach their kids how to do "SPORTS".
• Do not fear women in the military.
• Would actually like to date GI Jane.
• Know what a short-arm inspection is.
• Think that Bradley crewmen are emasculated infantrymen.
• Know that tankers exist in order to allow the enemy to deplete its basic load of sabot ammunition.
• Know where the "Green Ramp" is.
• Can remember who their "Ranger Buddy" was.
• Know that there's a difference between "giving orders" and "going through the orders process".
• Think that "slides" involve ropes and snap links.
• Don't like taking orders from a guy who couldn't get a DD 214.
• Still know how to PMCS a buffer.
• Can field strip an M1 Garand, although an M14 is an authorized substitute.
• Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
• Know that most of life's problems can be solved by applying the eight steady hold factors!
• Know that the US Military was too goddamn stupid to have assassinated Kennedy.
• Believe that "Nuts" wasn't exactly all that BG McAuliffe said to the Krauts at Bastogne.
• Think that we should develop nuke rounds for the M203.
• Know the true meaning of the word Hooah.
• Want both "Cross of Iron" and "Saving Private Ryan" to be training films.
• Don't know how to use a "stress card".
• Idolize John Wayne.
• Know why you should carry two field dressings on your LBE.
• Would rather have a "mad minute" than a "VTC".
• Shudder when they hear "Garry Owen".
• Know that the vertical buttstroke is not a sexual position.
• Don't believe that "AAFES" needs a "commander".
• Don't need "leadership tabs" to know when they're in charge.
• Can pass a PT test slobbering drunk.
• Can remember when faggots were not a "minority group".
• Don't have to "do a Lewinski" to get a "one block".
• Don't give a damn if they get a "one block".
• Won't brief it if it's too complicated to fit on a few 3 x 5 cards.
• Would have paid money to watch Custer getting his clock cleaned.
• Believe troops don't really want the "Single Soldier Initiative".
• Really don't like taking crap from those who haven't "been there".
• Believe that "RHIP" was invented by individuals who couldn't lead their way out of a field latrine.
• Know how to properly construct a field latrine
• Can set the headspace and timing on a "fifty" by touch alone.
• Know how to do a "daisy chain". 63. Enjoy heating MREs with C4.
• Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their asses kicked.
• Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably still don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
• Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4.
• Know that the new OER system is as screwed up as the old one.
• Think that the neutron bomb would be appropriate for the Bosnia scenario.
• Realize that Reagan won the Gulf War.
• Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
• Want to be like Teddy Roosevelt.
• Love the smell of napalm in the morning.
• Know that "napalm" is really called "incendi-gel".
• Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
• Think of Army aviators as guys who wear pajamas to work.
• Know that it really is possible to crawl inside a Kevlar when someone's shooting at you.
• Have enough extra TA-50 in their closets to start a surplus store.
• Would love to own their own HMMWV.
• Think that MREs taste good.
• Would like to see what kind of creature "ham and chicken loaf" comes from.
• Realize that there were no starving people in Somalia.
• Can remember open bay barracks.
• Believe that "combat power on the objective" is a bunch of crap.
• Believe that killing the enemy isn't.
• Know that "accuracy counts", especially in combat.
• Know the Ranger Creed by heart.
• Still have jungle fatigues in their closets.
• Never count on the artillery in a clutch.
• Believe that terrorists can be taken care of for 32 cents each (the cost of a 9mm round).
• Can be found eating and bunking with the troops.
• Are convinced that "wall-to-wall counseling" really works.
• Would love to go to sniper school.
• Have more time on a static line than most other soldiers have in the chow line.
• Know what a "link count" is.
• Realize that volleyball is the most important subject taught at CAS3.
• Know that it's not real coffee if you can't stand a track jack up in it.
• Don't need a "MCOO" to know where the enemy will come from.
• Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M16.
• Know that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers.

[Donald]

lol