You Might Be A Soldier

[Navy6064]

YOU MIGHT BE A SOLDIER

You might be a soldier if:

• the only time you and the spouse eat without the kids is at the unit "dining out".
• you always back into parking spaces.
• you have to look up your parents phone number, but can dial the CQ, SDNCO, company, battalion and brigade with no problem at all.
• each page of your vacation atlas has two routes marked.
• your favorite author is Mike Malone or Tom Clancy.
• when your kids are too noisy, you announce "at ease!"
• you don't own any blue ink pens.
• your leave always occurs during the last week of September.
• you keep a box of MREs at home and in the trunk of your car in case of emergencies.
• when talking to relatives by phone, you end the conversation with "out."
• you refer to your spouse as "Household 6" or CINC House."
• you've seen Patton enough times to memorize his speech.
• CNN is your favorite program.
• you call the Post Locator instead of Information to find your friends.
• you take the family camping with no tent or sleeping bags.
• your kids can speak three languages by age eight.
• the only suit you own is your Class A uniform.
• you carry your pager to the shower.
• your vehicle is registered on post and in two different states.
• you convince your spouse that all ten of your guns are necessary for home protection.
• you have more money invested in TA-50 than in your car.
• you tell your kids to go to bed at 2100 and they try to explain that it's only nine o'clock.
• the allotment column of your LES has more entries than the entitlement column.
• no one understands the stories you tell because of all the acronyms.
• you can explain the Gettysburg battlefield better than directions to your house.
• your kids know the words to "she wore a yellow ribbon."
• your two-year old calls everyone in BDUs "daddy".
• the phone book lists your rank instead of Mr.
• your spouse hasn't unpacked the good china for twenty years.
• your monthly BAS goes to the mess hall.
• you ruin the movie for everyone around you by pointing out the unrealistic military scenes.
• you live on post so you can hear reveille every morning.
• your family calls you "Sir."
• All your jokes begin with "there was this soldier, a marine and an airman..."
• you feel compelled to get a haircut every three days.
• all of your shoes are military style, except for one pair and that pair is your running shoes.
• if you are convinced that coffee is a nutrient.
• your home town is convinced that you are a foreigner.
• your first impressions of civilians are that they all need haircuts.
• all of your underwear is colored OD Green, Brown, or White.
• civilians exercise and you conduct PT.
• you feel guilty about leaving work at any hour.
• if all of your friends wear dockers.
• you only wear those dorky military glasses or the geeky aviation glasses.
• when your kids categorize other kids as either military brats or civilian slugs.
• if the phones in your home resemble the standard military version.
• if you answer your phone at home by explaining that the line is unsecure.
• if your spouse owns several military cookbooks published by family support groups.
• if half of the mementos in your house are from Korea or Germany.

[Donald]

lol