You Might Be a Tanker If. . .

[Navy6064]

You Might Be a Tanker If. . .

• Your hunting dog obeys the commands "halt", "traverse left/right","forward", and "identified".
• You can sleep through a raging thunderstorm, but wake up when your wristwatch alarm goes off.
• When playing football, you never throw a pass before checking wind, baro, and the football's temperature.
• You let your kids pee off the porch, but ground them when their rooms aren't IAW standard loadplan.
• You're always accusing the wife of turning the volume down on the TV and the telephone.
• You shy away from helping your kids with their math because you don't have all your fingers.
• You laugh uncontrollably when the infantry and aviators talk about thrill of firing big bore guns like the .308.
• You say "On the way!" as you pass gas.
• You don't realize that it's illegal to stick your head out of the sun roof while driving.
• You have the high score on TANK BATTLE at every video arcade within a ten mile radius.
• By "Old Kentucky Home", you mean Fort Knox.
• "Up" is no longer a direction for you.
• You believe a hammer can fix anything.
• You stop by every gas station you pass in order to "top-off".
• You drive everywhere, including two houses down.
• You were doing "drive-by shootings" before they were a fad.
• Your children refer to doors as "hatches" and windows as "periscopes."
• It takes you a few extra seconds each morning to remember that the throttle for your car is on the floor.
• Your idea of a ruck march is carrying your bags from the motor pool parking lot to the tank line
• You go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise wasn't loud enough
• You think a ranger is nothing more than a pick-up truck.
• You think the concept of dismount is the eighth deadly sin
• You think diesel and cordite are two of the four basic food groups.
• You see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ."
• You've lost headgear due to a large caliber bullet
• Going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixin's for a barbeque.
• You believed that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would fit perfectly in each launcher.
• You think that light infantry are only curious looking hot spots for machine gun practice at 800m
• You use Chem-Lites to decorate your christmas tree.
• You can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just the flip of a wrist.
• You have ever been startled out of sleep and shouted, "Identified!"
• The only thing that truly terrifies you is what might be crawling on the ground.
• The EPA knows you by your first name.
• You think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust over it and move out before anyone notices.
• You think there is no such thing as "Too much Ammo"
• You think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything."

[Donald]

lol