Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question.

[Navy6064]

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
>prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
>attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
>stand.
>
>He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>
>
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've known you
>since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
>disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
>people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
>shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
>anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>
>The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
>the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
>She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
>a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
>can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
>one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
>wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
>him."
>
>The defense attorney almost died.
>
>The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
>quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
>I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."