My son needs a little help in Iraq

[Pete477]

Hi Everyone,

My son is in need of a little help and I am hoping you can point me to appropriate resources. Here is the scenario:

He was home from Iraq for 2 weeks in mid-June on leave and shortly after returning to Iraq, his fiance told him she was pregnant. She insisted he was the father, but as the old story goes, she finally admitted she was having an affair with a man 14 years her senior while she was abroad studying in Spain. She wasn't particularly nice to him while he was home on leave, and it appears that was part of her plan to make him break off the engagement so she could be the "victim". She abruptly went back to Spain to marry this fellow, without so much as a screw you to my son. Well, the wedding is off, he is heartbroken his 5 year relationship is ashes, he is 20 years old, and halfway around the world from his family and usual support net.

He chats and emails his family and friends talking at length as he tries to work through this. He has talked to the chaplain once and says his fellow soldiers have been supporting him, but I have seen some of what they are telling him about his ex-fiance (having not even met her). I'm not sure they are exactly the help he needs right now. My concern is that he has access to the resources he needs to help him get his head on straight. I am doing what I can from so far away, but was wondering if there are other support groups/resources/publications or anything that may help him work through his feelings and stay sharp in a war zone. We want him back in one piece, both body and spirit, so any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

Pete477

[ClutterbusterNY]

Pete,

I'm so sorry that this has happened to your son, particularly at this time in
his life. Unfortunately this is not all that uncommon. Chances are some of his
buddies are speaking from experience. They know it's in their best interest
to keep him focused, so regardless of how inappropriate their comments may
seem; I would trust them to pull him through this.
I can imagine how worried you are about him.
I can give you the background and email addy of a Chaplain (not currently
deployed) who may be able to help him also. PM me if you'd like that info.

First off thank your son for serving his country and for a successful tour and speedy trip back home to you.

Second his pain must be tremendous and his heart is surely broken, but he is only 20 and has a full life a head of him. This was a not to happen sincerio, and better to find out now then after he married her.

His prioroity now is to concentrate on his mission in front of him, to stay focused and lean on his brothers / sisters in arms there with him. They surely understand his pain and will provide him the support he needs.

You sir should do what you have been doing, being proud of your son and continue to show the love of a carring father.

Sometimes the hardest part of saying 'I love you" is to walk away.

[Covertness]

Sounds like he's doing everything he can to work this out in his head. Turning to his buddies, his chaplain, and his family.

Please tell him I said thank you for his service, God Speed, and above all else....

Good Hunting.

[Pete477]

Just thought I would write a note to thank those of you who responded to my request, both in this thread and off thread. An update on my son, he is doing better, though far from healed yet. Being so far from family and friends has been hard for him to process what happened, but he did receive support from the chaplain, his leadership chain, and of course his family and friends via mail and the internet. He is looking forward to returning home in January, and will in time make a full recovery (as we all have after a broken relationship).

Thanks again for the kind words of support and your prayers for his, and all of our military personnels' safe return home to their families.

[ClutterbusterNY]

Glad to hear your son is doing better Pete, and that he has such a
strong support system. Hopefully when he gets home, he'll meet
someone wonderful (who deserves him) and he will be able to look
back on this experience without emotion.
All the best to him,

[Covertness]

Yep, good to hear he's still hanging in there.