The CFergusn Update

[Infantrymen]

These are his blog updates:

Blog (30 Jan 07)

Weekly review
Current mood: tired
As things and days go by, I begin to wonder from a distance what our loving country is coming to. For many, they are happy as clams, for me, its disturbing. My first full week here has been a bit of adjusting. We have had a couple of incidents but nothing major. From some booms to some pops, bangs to thuds, you find yourself getting use to things you shouldnt. I was going to post some nice pics of me up so all can see, but I forgot the needed cable. My Capt is hooking me up with his soon, so that will not be an issue. Sleep is way off, as my rotation has been changing. Work here is just that, work. It fills the time as I count the days I can return home and try to relax, but that it will not matter, as I will be busy for weeks after I get back looking for a house. Anywho, nothing major has happened, so I press on, and know that you are all in my prayers. Luv you all...

Cort

Blog (8 Feb 07)

Another week in hell
Current mood: contemplative
Okay, as you all know, the news is like a live tabloid, sometimes they get it right, but often not. After being here, seeing what I have seen, hearing what I have heard, knowing what I now understand, we are here for a higher purpose. You are getting maybe 2% of the actual truth that is occuring, the rest is spun to make it sound more dramatic, more surreal, more over the top. Many articles in newspapers have been so incorrect, that I had to write my folks, stating only "Not everything you read is true." I get friends who send my stories, some are close, but most not. This isnt a bad place, there are good people here, but they are, like a lot of us, uneducated, in termoil, and in a spiritual void. Give it some time, everyone finds their way. I know I am.

Besides the obvious, being alive, things here have been good. The food is edible, though I wouldnt call it 2 star, living is basic, but then again who needs extras. We do have our occasional "fun times," but after a couple of minutes, it dies down. There are many people who work here that think the world will fall apart, will stop spinning, and worse yet, will cause God to fall off his throne, if they have to change they way they have been doing things. Even if it simplifies the process, it is often reverted back to the original ways because one person refuses to adapt. Officers are the primary cause of this, believe me. I always here about the Air Force having the weakest officers, let me state this clearly, the Army and Navy are about to take that title. Besides, I have been given an order to give "warm fuzzies" to people when they make mistakes. Dont ask, just continue laughing or shaking your head.

I am still not sleeping, lack of personal time, and the tension in the air, makes for an uneasy feeling. I have started back into my bible, beginning to learn what it takes to really be a man, besides all the crap we are told in pop culture. Everything I learned as a child was wrong. I do not want to make the same mistakes my parents did, making life better for my children, and defeating some of those family demons we have carried for so long. I must remember it is not about me, but about Gods plan according to his will.

So with nothing more to complain about, talk about, or think about, I am going to hunt for some food. Nevermind, chow hall is closed. To many chiefs, not enough indians making decisions based of their needs, not that of their troops. God bless... be safe.

Cort

Blog (16 Feb 07)

Walking in safety
Current mood: blank
As many of you already know, the BSP (Baghdad Security Plan) has begun. Now I am no spring chicken, but I can say some things that you wont hear on the news. Its working, to an extent. There will always be an element that you have to contend with, but for the most part its a good thing. There are things going on here, that I have seen with my own eyes that would shock you. Though I will not talk about them, just note, this is not my work, but Gods. This "shit hole" has been getting better and the people are finally getting up and getting to work. You can only take so much before you have to stop worring and just do it.

The last few days have been very active, to say the least. As many of you know, my work allows me to do things, see things, hear things, that most dont. Last night was no exception, with a B1-B Lancer doing a lower flyover and strike not to far from here. Now granted, it was raining, I was asleep (a miracle), and the world rocked for a bit from the blast. Did I wake, no, but my roommate passing gas got my attention. We could have WW3 outside, I would never know, but a mouse fart, and I am up for good. Things here are showing much improvement over the past few days. With a new commander in place, he is very proactive to getting it done, getting the Iraqis to do it, and to stop having them wait on us all the time. Hell Yeah!

Holidays here are another issue. Valentines day was as it is here everyday, just another day. Groundhog day all day, everyday. Who did I get to spend the most important, card filled, candy giving, love fest day with.... my troops. Now some of these guys are a little funny, so I sat at the end of the table watching. Some got news that their loved ones were missing them, some found out they had been replaced. Some found out that they were becoming single, one found out he is a daddy, but hasnt been home in over a year... do the math!

Okay, I ranted so lets get down to why I actually posted. Walking here with all the booms, whizzes, bangs, pops, etc is nothing. I actually feel very safe. As disturbing as it is, I do not fear for my life. I trust God to do his part, as I know he will only test me when I should be. Yes I do still have all my gear, but wearing it all the time is not required. Its a job requirement when working certain things, but for the most part, I carry my weapon, talk to God, and let things happen. For those tracking, I am on day eight of the Purpose Driven Life. If you havent done it, you should.

Okay, I am off to get some sleep. Please keep us in your prayers, know we do this not for us, but for each other. God bless...

Cort

PS> I am still single for a reason... You should already know why!

Blog (26 Feb 07)

Another week in paradise... yeah!
Current mood: groggy
OK, soapbox time. America, I love you, but what the fuck? I hear more about Anna, then I hear about things that matter. Seems like Britany has her day or weeks of spotlight as well. Since when do I care about prostitots and kindersnatch? Show me something good please.

Now things here are as expected, a couple of rockets landed no to far away the other day. Just another open one eye, fall back to sleep issue. No one was injured or killed, God bless. I received notification that I am eligible for the Iraqi Campaign Medal, big fucking whoopty-do. I have enough, but a free one, I will still take it. Brings the total to 17 and I still aint done with my tour. Anyway, been running around, losing weight as always, trying to get sexy or as close to it as possible. I am always a work in progress, so no end in sight. Sleeping a bit better, but not holding my breath on it. Its just groundhog day here. Nothing really to report, but I will have two new pics up soon. I was working outside yesterday, so my roommate snapped some of me getting ready. If they say I dont pull my weight, which I have a lot, they can kiss it. Ran into a couple of friends the other day, some old aquaintances, and well, I am not the same as I use to be. Lack of sleep, sex, emotional connections, can cause one to reevaluate oneself. No, I still like the ladies, dont worry. But the settling down topic has started to flow more and more.

Outside of that, I am well, things are normal as can be, just counting down my days till I get home. As for those who know about July/August travel plans, yes, I will coming, I have tickets in hand, so make your plans. I have always wanted to visit, this is the best chance for me to do so. See you all soon, God bless....

Cort

Blog Post (3 Mar 07)

Another day of reflection
I have been asked to post today some of my beliefs. Well I thought otherwise, so I am just going to give an update. Nothing really major is happening, I have been taking care of myself, losing weight as always, and hitting the gym daily. I am trying to reclaim my fat ass and get it back into the shape it use to be in, appealing. Yesterday I was asked by someone if there is anything I love in life, my only reply was that I am blessed. I had to complete a family package incase of something happening, to which I checked single, no dependants, signed, and returned. Then it hit me, I am the oldest guy in my section, not married, dating, or have a FWB thing. All my friends are in Hawaii, Korea, Australia, or Portugal. Seems sort of cheap and easy if you ask me, but that has always been my life. Not complaining, just reflecting. This morning I was asked if I have ever taken a life, to which I replied "I would not doubt that I have, but life has also taken from me items that can not replace." For those that know me well, they understand. I am planning on making this a career, wanting to achieve my goals and aspirations. The hard part is, that this career is second on my priority list, behind God. The women who have come in and out of my life have been a curse and a blessing, but that is apart of the learning curve. I am getting to the point that I may just do away with dating all together, adjusting to a simple life, free from the burdens of strife. Now granted, there will be some, but to find an honorable woman is an unparalled search to life itself. This is not a plea for affection or love, this is just fact that I am finally facing. When is it time for me to receive? I have given so much of myself to everyone and everything, but receive nothing in return. For once, I am now saying no. If I can no longer benefit from something, I will no longer do it. I can be happy with my occasional flings from the bars, my lonely nights at home, and my being able to do what needs to be done when and where I want. But in the end, I would ultimately return to this spot in life, knowing the vicious cycle it takes on myself. It is time for me to stop the endless circle. If you not going to benefit my life mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, then I ask you please take your leave. Physically, I know plenty of people who just want sex, but I am needing more. In closing, these things were not just discovered, but have been there for some time. I just chose to face them finally. I am a man with goals and aspiriations that will be completed, not put behind any longer. After reading this, you should know your place with me. If/When you take your leave, just let me know, and close the door slowly. For slamming it will anger others who enjoy the peace that I bring.

Blog post (7 mar 07)
Death came by...
Current mood: flirty
Ok, I cant really go into much detail, but for a few people on the compound death came calling. I saw him coming, so I opened my door and welcomed him in. Seems he doesnt like that too much, he would rather chase. Needless to say, I am fine. Things here are busy as always, and I am doing what I need to do. I am sleeping some, but not enough. The lack of sex, alcohol, and steak is catching up. I figure two of those will break soon, but can I get a steak please. We get seafood here, for the love of God can I get a decently cooked steak. Ok, a few people are asking what my plans are when I return, so far, its simple: I get off the plane, go to billeting, inprocess, then start my two weeks leave. During that time, I have to find a place to live, so I will be on the move a bit. Once that is done, I can move in, and start my life over again. I have lost 32 pounds since I got here, my workouts are putting more muscle on, losing bodyfat, and actually look like a decent person now. No more rolly poly buddha belly look. I can barely fit in my PT gear, its to big, but my butt, yes I still have it, keeps it where it needs to be. I have taken over a new job, as to what it is, I can say only this, its better than what I was doing. There is more to this than the last, so I enjoy it more. I still have my trip plans for July, but my trip home is starting to fall apart. Only my dad can alot the time, everyone else has other things. Guess my letter to my parents telling them to put up or shut up pissed off one side. So I am looking for somewhere else to go, I have leave to burn. Also have a round trip ticket companion voucher to use, so who knows. Any way, I am getting hungry, and my Juniper breeze hand lotion is smelling real good, it is attracting to much female attention here. Got to run, my books are calling. God bless all and thank you all for your support. It really means alot.

[Covertness]

Cort,
You're welcome in Charlotte. Got an extra room, no wife, no kids, quiet neighborhood, big fucking back yard. Very peaceful.

My little bro in the 82nd isn't far from your AO and much of what he says about the recent change mirrors yours. You're all warriors but it's about time the Iraqi started finding their nads and really started taking control of their country. Hooahs to you all.

I'm with you on the single thing. Been that way for five or six years now and I gotta admit, there's a certain contentment in staying that way. Won't say it's good or bad, each to their own eh? It is safe though. However, there's an old Navy saying I like to remember: A ship in its' harbor is safe but that's not what ships are for. Something to ponder on.

Tell the men around you that on March 17th some 10,000 hippie protestors marched against you in D.C. They were met by some 30,000 pissed off Veterans, friends, family members, and people who support you and your mission. You are not alone.

Remember, two in the chest and one in the face will solve most of your problems. Good hunting and keep your head on a fucking swivel.

[RR691983]

Amen, x2 to that.

[AmericanGirl]

I copied, pasted and printed out 5 pages of some of the stuff from the GOE website, some of the articles, comments from those there and those who wanted to be there and sent them to Cort and 10 of my other adopted troops.