Marriage as a young devil dog

SpongeJuan · 08-28-2005, 06:44 PM

Hey everyone, I was just wondering what some of you might think about marriage as a LCpl or bellow. I was told by some Marine wifes that it wouldn't be a good idea because the income isn't the best and plus when you deploy it will make things even worse. I was talking to my girlfriend and her and I are pretty serious. She told me a couple of times that she would like to get married when she turned 20 or 21. I told her that I would not get married untill I am atleast an NCO. What do you all recomend?

**Vulture6** · 08-28-2005, 09:55 PM

No one can make a decision for you, but advice is free.

Not knowing you or your girlfriend, I would advise against marriage as a LCPL. Not saying that it wouldn't work, but life is tough on low pay, long hours, and deployments. If she's the right girl, she'll wait until you are a Corporal, or have finished your first tour.

AmericanGirl · 08-29-2005, 12:32 AM

Military life is tough for a wife... especially a young one, waiting until you have made NCO is probably a good idea... but maybe you could buy her a promise ring or just have a really long engagement?

SpongeJuan · 08-29-2005, 06:25 AM

A promise ring? I come from a Mexican family, and I have never heard of a promise ring. What the hell is that?

Riggs83 · 08-29-2005, 08:19 AM

A promise ring is something like I promise to marry you and so on. With my current girlfriend though, her ex boyfriend gave her one or something and he obviously broke that promise so it can really mean nothing. Love is love you shouldn't need some ring to prove you love someone.

**SGRock** · 08-29-2005, 11:30 AM

WAIT!

I have seen the divorce rates soar after just one deployment. If she is the right one for you and really loves you, the deployment will prove that and you won't have to go through all of the legal crap.

USMCRET6391 · 08-29-2005, 11:55 AM

I am going to echo most of what was said before now, but add a few things. Even in the best of times Military Housing is hard to come by and even if you are stationed in a low cost area maintaining living spaces in town is damned expensive, hard to do on an NCO's pay even if you get a decent housing allowance. As for the rest, I was married at 22 and a Cpl, out of all the friends I had who were married that young and in the Corps, my ex and I were the only couple we knew who made it past about 3 years without being divorced. It's a rough life for a young woman whose husband is on and off deployment all the time. If you have kids, and most end up pregnant within 6 mos, it's even worse. My advice is to wait until you are both a bit older. In my mind rank is not so important as a little extra maturity.

nasotm · 08-29-2005, 09:19 PM

me and my husband just recently married in april he's still a lance corporal. money is tight but we knew we were both ready...he's currently deployed now and it's extremely hard considering the fact that i got pregnant 2 weeks before he left. but we both love each other more than anything and this deployment is just going to make our relationship stronger. as long as you think you can make it financially and if you both truely love each other i would say go for it. but make sure it's what you want. and just so you know it's very expensive to live off base in beaufort, before my husband left we were renting a single wide trailer that didn't even have central air for almost $500 a month. i would definately look into base housing if i were you

nasotm · 08-29-2005, 09:21 PM

by the way....happy birthday

Panzerman · 08-30-2005, 01:48 AM

I'm married as a LCpl. My wife works, and we live comfortably in San Clemente, CA, paying $1450/mo for a decent apartment out in town. We've been married for about a year after dating for about nine, and our time together since we've been married has been our best so far. We got married rather than waited because there was no way I could afford to have her living in California without getting BAH pay.

That said, we're the exception. I've watched the marriages of two recently married Marines in my squad fall apart during this deployment.

My general advice would be to wait.

SpongeJuan · 08-30-2005, 07:16 PM

Thank you all for the advice. I have heard the same comments from some Marines before, but when you start to fall in love you forget things. I kinda had a reality check when my mother started asking me questions about our relationship. I will wait and see how things turn out when i come back from Japan.

0311Marine · 08-31-2005, 04:09 AM

I got married as a LCpl and so far have been Married for four years. We went through a deployment and war and god knows how many field ops. It can work.

SpongeJuan · 08-31-2005, 04:51 AM

Well i know it can work, but the chances are slim. How many Marines do you know that got divorces, or are going through one? I can think of a couple, and that's for only being in the Corps for a year.