Love, or the Corp.?

02-19-2005, 10:26 PM

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. I have wanted to join the Corp. my entire life, or atleast as far back as I can remember. I planned to enlist next year, but now a relationship has become extremely serious, and I have no idea what to do. I really do love this girl, and want to make her happy. She has been damaged really bad in the past, though I wont go into detail. I seem to be the only person she trusts and would hate to put her through the worry, and stress of being a Marine wife. The call, that being the best way I can word it, to be a Marine is incredibly strong too though.Any advice?

0311Marine · 02-20-2005, 12:04 PM

Being a Marine wife is one of the hardest jobs in the Corps. But there is a HUGE support system for them, what ever she goes through she wont be alone, she will have others that have been through nearly the same thing there to support her and talk to her, if you really want to be a Marine I say do it, you dont want to be the old man wishing he'd done something along time ago. Talk with her about it, tell her its what you want and have her explore it with you, the jobs the benefits everything make her feel apart of the process, she might take comfort in knowing that when you join the Corps. Your family just got a shit load bigger.

Semper Fi

02-20-2005, 03:59 PM

Thanks, I didnt know there was a support system or anything like that. I did leave out one thing though. She has already said that she would go along with it if I want to. The problem is that I dont want to her go through anything hard again. Had it been anyone else I wouldnt care, but it is a little different with her. Sounds weird, but it is the best way I can put it without revealing her past.

0311Marine · 02-20-2005, 04:53 PM

Dont get me wrong, things will be hard. You have three months at boot camp where you wont even really be able to talk to her exept through lettars, after that you have MCT or SOI depending on your MOS, then your MOS school depending on what job you want. I can tell you that as infantry it will be harder than almost any other job in the Corps. You have long field ops, deployments, not to mention the fact of war. But she will not be alone in all of this. There is always the fear that something might happen to you, whether its during a field op or you get deployed to somewhere like Iraq. But there are people she can talk to that have been through this before, all the wives and some of the Girlfriends usually get together and support one another. If you have any other questions about the Corps. or the Military in general this forum is the place to do it. What job did you want to get ?

**Vulture6** · 02-20-2005, 05:08 PM

Married life is tough in the Corps, but not impossible. The divorce rate is probably higher than for civilian counterparts... but any marriage at 18 / 19 years old is going to have it's share of tough times.

Know what you are getting in to, and this is a good first step.

Perhaps a better question to address is how many folks here got married early on in their time in the Corps - 1st year for example, and how did it turn out?

02-20-2005, 05:23 PM

Yeah, im going to talk to her tonight. Thanks. I wanted to go into Force reconnaissance, but I need to figure out how to get into it first. I always have wanted to be a sniper too, so it depends on how things go tonight I guess.

0311Marine · 02-21-2005, 12:09 AM

Well you picked the two hardest things to do in the Corps. To get into force recon you need to go to recon first and to go to recon you need to be an 03, if you want to be a sniper be prepared to go to one of the hardest school the Military has to offer, either way lots and lots of field time. And just a little side note, I got married my first 4 and its still going great, through to many field ops to list, a 6 month deployment, and Iraq.

kania · 02-21-2005, 08:03 AM

I'm in a similiar situation actually. The thing is that I read that you must be married for them to move in with you. Is there anything you can do to get around this, or is it carved in stone?

USMCRET6391 · 02-21-2005, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kania

I'm in a similiar situation actually. The thing is that I read that you must be married for them to move in with you. Is there anything you can do to get around this, or is it carved in stone?

You dont have tobe married to live together, you simply wont get access to military housing or any of the pay and allowances that would be coming to you if you are married. As for the "Love or Corps" part of this, I was married for the last 22 of the 24 years I spent in the Corps and it worked quite well for the most part, she understood that I loved the Corps and as much as I loved her there were times when the Corps had my first loyalty. If the other person in your life can understand that you will be fine. A warning however, the Corps is a jealous mistress and it wont understand any lapse in loyalty to her.

Top

kania · 02-21-2005, 05:26 PM

Ok say I get done boot camp, get out of my mos school, get to my first station. My girlfriend decides to move in with me. I simply just get an off base house, and live there. If anyone has ever been in a simliar situation can you make it, i'm talking money wise because i wont be making much, and she'll most likely have a full time job. Do you think we could financially make it living off base? Because whatever i do, i know that my girlfriend will always be there for me. I love her, she loves me and she knows how much i want to be a Marine, and she says she is already proud of me for making such a big decision.

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

thank you

USMC0861 · 02-21-2005, 05:57 PM

As an unmarried Marine if the command allows you to reside off base and thats a big if you won't see any extra allowances your footin the bill on your pay. Price one bedrooms outside of Pendelton if your a PFC or Lcpl your GF better be pullin down some jack.

If your an unauthorized brownbagger, that is too say you maintain a residence off base without your commands knowledge and approval (never a good thing) then you still have to maintain a room in the barracks, be in the area for field days, still be subject to mess duty etc. You might be able to hide and slide it for awhile but you will get caught and you will get hammered.

I'd get through boot and MOS school and see where you stand with her then.

Ram0528 · 02-21-2005, 06:00 PM

Well, looks like the first hurdle is done. She supports your decision to become a Marine, which is very important. As for the living situation, could you make it, yes. But it also depends on how you guys manage your money & whether or not you live w/in your means. Does that make sense. The best thing to do is to explain to her your goals (w/in the Corps) & what is entailed in achieving your goals and once they've been achieved (ie: deployments, training, war).

Hoss68 · 02-21-2005, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by USMC0861

As an unmarried Marine if the command allows you to reside off base and thats a big if you won't see any extra allowances your footin the bill on your pay. Price one bedrooms outside of Pendelton if your a PFC or Lcpl your GF better be pullin down some jack.

If your an unauthorized brownbagger, that is too say you maintain a residence off base without your commands knowledge and approval (never a good thing) then you still have to maintain a room in the barracks, be in the area for field days, still be subject to mess duty etc. You might be able to hide and slide it for awhile but you will get caught and you will get hammered.

I'd get through boot and MOS school and see where you stand with her then.

Y'all might want to warn about "marriages of convenience" here too!

USMC0861 · 02-21-2005, 07:30 PM

What Hoss68 said. Marriages of convienace are bad Mojo too. Don't get married especially to another Marine in order to live off base and collect the allowences.

Somebody will find out, and you will get hammered.